Yup - Version #2 of the series pitch is out the door.
Initial response received this morning was: "Wow - a hundred percent better." They like both the new structure of the team and the tone of the pitch itself. They also like the new Pilot episode, and the way I've handled conveying information.
Note to Self: A synopsis can't just state the facts - it needs to carry the same tone and tension as the real thing.
Only comments so far have been minor nitpicks about the new Pilot -- but all very quick fixes. Most of these resulted from my lack of understanding regarding a particular hierarchy in the US (i.e., who would be called in when in a given situation).
I am talking to them this afternoon to nail down the last few details -- and then it will go to their full development team tomorrow.
Assuming it gets approval -- my job will be done (I think). Well, until they sell it that is.
Who knows how that will go -- but it's fun to imagine.
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